This is the news! Welcome to what is probably the only blog in the world read solely by people the writer knows personally. Thank you to Orla for telling me she finds it amusing, and to the boys at Hello My Name Is in Southampton, whose knowledge of my conga antics led to reminding me to add one more notch in the dance’s bed post. But we have had not one, but two more congas, this time both in the UK, and of course as usual to ‘Don’t Leave Me This Way’. For the first time the conga took place around the top of a staircase, with possibly the largest number of participants to date, so respect due to all who attended and enjoyed Stus’ birthday at The Soul Cellar in Southampton. The other, slightly shorter line was achieved in Nottingham this past weekend with the Basement Boogaloo crew, a lovely bunch of guys and top music heads. Thanks to Ed Cotton for noticing me flaking out hard at seven am and calling me a taxi. “You taxi!” he shouted, oh how we laughed.

         So aside from drinking, dancing and DJ’ing, what else is new? Well, I went to the Deviation first birthday last Wednesday at Gramaphone in East London and saw the boogie-tastic Dam Funk, from LA. Looking like a skinny Barry White crossed with a member of Positive Force, Dam (or Dame as it is pronounced because of the ^ above the A) played a solid selection of late 70’s and early 80’s boogie and disco, along with some of his own productions and some early electro and jackin’ house. He also kindly announced the name, artist and year of release of each track, although unfortunately I forgot my notepad and missed many a gem. But the man sure knows his records, and what’s more adds to my perpetual fear that boogie is one of the deepest oceans for any collector to swim in, yet ultimately one of the most rewarding in terms of it’s usefulness on the floor and keeping value. He was also wearing a vest. I harbour a strange admiration for men that can wear vests. Although it could be seen as camp or flashy on a well-built man, on a thin man like Mr Funk or even Benji B it looks kind of cool. Now on me, a vest looks simply obscene, like a late fifties British holidaymaker, complete with knotted hanky and gravy stains. But I think that is a good thing, as I could have the potential to dress tremendously flamboyantly if I wasn’t so slightly overweight. So in a way, I would be a very different person if I were to buff up, dressing like an arse and becoming incredibly vain, arrogant and self obsessed. So be thankful that I don’t. At least I can trick myself into thinking I am by using my Wii Fit once a week, if I remember. I do love it to bits and would heartily recommend anyone in their late twenties or early thirties thinking of getting a console, but aware that they really shouldn’t be wasting their time on games, to get one. The exercises don’t really do anything except make you think you are getting fit in a fun way, like wobbling on a plastic board whilst the screen shows an animated version of yourself in a penguin suit catching fish atop a see-sawing iceberg. It is also the perfect remedy for a partner that has never understood your obsessive playing of Star Wars games, and actually draws them in with the unique controls and ability to be more user friendly and group involving to the part-time or novice gamer, particularly Tennis, Bowling and Lego Indiana Jones.

      Well I can’t think of much more to add. The latest Bakura release is up on our store now, and widely available on all digital shops. If you missed the 12” please get yourself a download here, it’s just over £3 for all four mixes on our i-think store and all profit goes straight to me, which is nice. So next week there will be two more countries to try and add to the conga list, Russia and Lithuania, after which I will start to produce a league table of the most and least successful places to try and achieve it. Then maybe at the end of the year I will lay down the gauntlet to any resident or touring DJ’s to get their own clubs doing it, maybe recording it and sending it in, then selling on the franchise and possibly making my first million from what is essentially, quite a stupid idea. So till then, take all your money out of the bank and spend it all on tinned food and guns, the revolution’s a coming my friends! Take care, love you byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!